Последните 2 години от моя живот

 

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Преди 2 години, изкарах Нова година в тоалетната нарочно. После го написах в блога си и материала бе четен около 7000 пъти и получи над 600 лайка във фейсбук. Казвам го, защото ми стана странно, кой ли толкова се интересува от моя живот. Тогава си обещах да заживея по нов начин. 2 години по-късно се чувствам длъжен да дам временен рипорт, на това което постигнах и кое не.

Избирам този момент, защото точно гледах филм, който говори за онази нужна промяна в живота ни, когато имаме нужда. Т.е. когато се чувстваме все едно някой друг живее живота ни, а ние сме рутина от сутрин до вечер. Много от нас не живеят. Факт.

Моля преди да продължите ми простете, не съм хипи гуру, който да ви дава съвети, искам само да ви кажа какво се случи с мен. Нека всеки експериментира на собствен риск.

Страхът от загубата на работа

О, да. Най-често срещано при всички нас. Какво ще правя ако стана без пари. Добра новина – едва ли ще умрете от глад. Имате роднини, приятели. Даже е полезно. Останете малко гладни, това ражда страхотни идеи, а лечебния глад ще премахне голяма част от вашите заблуди. Не казвам, че трябва да започнем да си клатим краката, а по-скоро че трябва да работим това, което искаме/обичаме. Друг въпрос е как да го намерим.

Моят начин беше да се махна от офиса, защото загивах. Днес две години по-късно мога да кажа, че не се хваля със страхотен финансов успех, но се справям. Имам супер компрютър, смартфонче, таблетче, очукана колица със скейт лепенки. Живея сам и се издържам. Пия си бирата в същите заведения и се виждам със същите хора. Намалих излишните харчове. Да, наскоро завидях на едни приятели, че заминават на почивка за една седмица, но те имат само една седмица, а аз цяла година.

В момента съм

– консултант по приятен уеб проект
– ко-продуцент на стартираща онлайн поредица за вдъхновяващи хора
– съдружник в няколко сайта за джунджурии
– студент трета година в НБУ, почти отличник,
– чат пат свиря с бандата ни Sisters of Radomir
– Снимах мимолетни незабележими ролички в няколко сериала и рекламки.

Звучи като да взимам големите кинти, нали? Всъщност думите, които изписах са повече от левовете, които взимам, но съм доволен. Все нещо прокапва.

Връзки

Мислиш, че за да ти върви с мацките ти трябват много пари? Прав си. Но и без пари става. Единствено не става, когато си бачкаторче в средно положение. За това си опичай акъла овреме, приятелю. Аз не се оплаквам. Т.е. нямам връзка, но нерегулираните отношения ми харесват повече и реших, че нямам нужда да се обвързвам, поне сега. И не, не съм самотен. Даже е страхотно. Едно момчие ме научи, че голямата любов може да има много имена.

Прегрешения

За тези две години, направих много. Като погледна десетте божи заповеди виждам, че единственото, което съм пропуснал да съгреша е:
– да сменя Бог
– да убия
– да открадна
Но да, злослових, клеветих, завиждах, мразех, прелюбодействах, бях страшен егоист на моменти, пълен гъз. Да, понякога и аз не се понасям. Но искам да се поправя. Мечтая да имам работа, в която давам надежда на другите.

Напред

Трудно е. Мамка му, понякога е много трудно като няма кой да те сръчка. Понякога се загубваш и ти е трудно да се върнеш на пътя. Но всеки ден усещаш, че си жив. Във всеки един момент те има и присъстваш. Нямаш стреса от това да угаждаш на други. Можеш да размахаш среден пръст на всеки и да ти е все тая. Виждаш простите хора, те не могат да се скрият от радара ти, защото твоят живот придобива едни по-истински очертания.

Напред ще е трудно и ще боли. Ще трябва да се мине през много изпитания. Ще тече кръв, ще има и болка, и глад, и сълзи вероятно. Ще си леко окъсан на моменти. Но по дяволите, хиляда пъти по-добро е от това да водиш живот, в който гниеш.

Черта

За тези две години, започнах да се грижа за себе си. Върнах си цвета на лицето и надявам се блясъка в очите. Не ходих на работа от 9 до 5. Но:

бях барман миналото лято на Градина
скачах с паращут
гмурках се на дълбоко
пътувах
станах ски инструктор
имах шанс да спечеля 100 000 $ благодарение на вас (БГ беше на второ място в световна класация, тва си беше WOW)
кипя от много идеи искам само време и възможност да ги направя
Почти готвя добре, на пастата съм маестро

За финал

Вчера гледах дебюта на Де Ниро, като режисьор. Вътре героят казва “На-големият грях е да пропилееш таланта си”.

Не спирам да търся моя и да намеря начин как да не го пропилявам. Искам искрено да ти пожелая да намериш своя талант и да започнеш да живееш живота си в щастие всеки ден. А, ако си успял искам да те поздравя и да те помоля за съвет, защото аз още се уча.

Ако трябва да обобщя в едно изречение: “Имам една добра и една лоша новина. Лошата е, че нямам никви кинти. Но добрата е, че това са най-смислените две години от живота ми, в които чувствах, че живея всеки ден и никога не съм бил по-щастлив от сега!”

Ми това е :)

Ще си пишем догодина!

 

Твой,

Киро

 

5 януари 2014

 

(*Пубикацията по никакъв начин не е свързана, поръчвана или платена от Absolut. Просто снимката е подходяща за идеята, а и се застъпва с тяхната кампания)

181 comments

  1. Жана · January 6, 2014

    Какво да кажа… много ме радват хора с идеи, които се надсмиват над трудностите вместо да реват наляво и надясно “Ами сега какво ще правя?”. Парите в крайна сметка са ни да си купим баничка сутринта, не да ги прибираме в чекмеджетата за след седмица, когато ще си купим 3 банички със спестените пари, като след втората ще сме преяли… ;)
    Младостта е, за да й се радваш! Супер си!

  2. еди кой си · January 6, 2014

    ами то си почти там. Осъзнал си, че човек е щастлив когато се занимава само с каквото му доставя удоволствие но понякога с доста трудно да откриеш в какво си добър. Затова има The Sweet Spot model (може да го гуугълнеш). Намисли си три неща които ти доставят удоволствие да ги вършиш (passions), после три неща които ги правиш по-добре от който и да било на тая планета (gifts) и накрая какво целиш в живота (Purpouse). Дано ти бъде от полза.

  3. Forget-me-not · January 6, 2014

    Вдъхновяваш ме , Кире:) мисля да те последвам и да се индикирам след година да видя какво се е получило. Enjoy your days:)

  4. Joro · January 6, 2014

    Сори ама да смениш 100 работни места за 2 години ми звучи… леко несериозно … или ще си добър в нещо и ще го правиш или не….
    Е да пуснал си се по течението и със сигурност е било забавно но това те кефи на момента и неможе да продължи вечно…. всеки трябва да намери себе си рано или късно …

    И нещо да попитам…
    Защо мислиш че бачкаторчето гние…
    Аз като виден бачкатор в офис от 9 до 18 не се чувствам по нещастен от теб… даже напротив … аз дори нямам нужда да скачам с парашут за да се чувствам добре ;)
    Поздрави :)

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